hello, world.
“Hello world.”
These were Tiger Woods’ first words to the media universe at the August 1996 press conference in which he announced his decision to turn pro, and with these words he stepped into his predestined role as the world’s most dominant and most marketable athlete.
These are also my first words as a tumblogger, and the parallel is intentional. I intend to become the Tiger Woods of the tumblr world. I expect to win my first major tumblog tournament within the year by an unprecedented twelve strokes. I will immediately sign record-setting contracts with the two largest tumblr sponsors. I will make middle-aged Dockers-wearing Buick-driving WASPish tumblr commentators salivate every time they say my name. I will be fawned over by a stunning Swedish supermodel who knows nothing about tumblr. I will befriend the best real writers in the world and commiserate about how hard it is to be number one.
Either that or I’ll post items of no consequence at infrequent and aperiodic intervals. In any case, hello everybody. It’s good to be here.